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End the Homework Wars!

End the Homework Wars!

| Tutoring | Learning to Learn | Learning Framework

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Discover how to develop intelligent, self-motivated, focused children… and get your weeknights back!

If you’re struggling with your child to get their homework done, perhaps even having a nightly war with your child then you are not alone. The reality is kids do not usually like doing homework, and especially when there are distractions like television, computer or toys available.

However, this article will help you strategically approach homework in a way to make your nights run a lot smoother.

In fact, it is our hope that after you put these simple recommendations into place, you will develop self-motivation and discipline in your child so that they do their homework with no fuss at all.

In addition, there are some secret tips woven throughout that will also get them ahead in class.

Before reading, however, have a think about what has worked for you and your child in the past, and keep that in mind while you read. Combining what you already know with the tips in this article will help you create a very powerful strategy that will be uniquely suited to your child.

Please Note: It can be tempting to jump ahead to a topic that may look more interesting, especially as you’ll no doubt see tactics you could implement next time your child has homework to do, but please refrain from doing so. The reason being is that each segment in this book has been designed to build on the previous segment, and is essential for developing a happy, growing, independently-motivated child.

The Seedling for Happy Week Nights

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” – Lewis Carroll in Alice in Wonderland

First, what is the goal of homework?

It might seem odd to ask “what is the goal of homework?”, but the answer isn’t what most parents think it is… and in fact, actually knowing the answer will put this whole book into context, no doubt relieve a little stress for you, and be the key to unlocking your child’s motivation and growth.

What homework is NOT…

Homework is not a judgement on your child’s current ability like a test would be, nor a measure of your ability as a parent and a mentor. Although that thinking is very common, it is not what homework is about, and as you will see actually holds your child’s growth back.

It is also not a time for your child to be learning new concepts or processes, or a chance to challenge them outside their current ability. That is for the classroom.

So what is it for then? The goal of homework is twofold:

  1. to give your child the opportunity to consolidate the lessons and concepts they have already learned in the classroom;
  2. and to develop the responsibility, self-discipline, independence, work ethic, success mindset and study habits that’ll benefit them in their life going forward.

With that in mind, let’s look at how you can help your child become a homework hero!

Empower your child

As I mentioned in the introduction, children do not like homework. They’ll fight tooth and nail to do anything else, and you may feel you are the one putting the metaphorical blood, sweat and tears into getting their homework done. And the tears might not even be metaphorical.

But as you will see, the research says you actually shouldn’t be pushing your child, even if it means they have to face the consequences in the classroom. Instead, your efforts should be geared toward shifting more and more the responsibility of homework from you to your child.

Right now you may be wondering something along the lines of: “Left up to their own devices my child would play with toys and computer games all afternoon.”

There is probably some truth in that but bear with me.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that you and your ‘Seeds of Knowledge’ tutor cannot facilitate their learning, and we’ll get into that soon. However, let’s first have a look at step one of“empowering your child”.

Stop the nightly fights, nagging and negotiations

As counter-intuitive as it may sound, trying to force your child to do their work actually has many unseen adverse effects, and not just on your stress levels. Especially given, as you no doubt are experiencing, children at this age want more control over their lives and are primed to fight for every last bit of control they can.

Here are two common ways children react:

  1. As a reaction to their parents’ efforts to motivate them and a way to take back some level of control, a child may decide to “show their parent” and purposely produce substandard work at school. Or they may play up in class. Or even fail to hand in assignments even though you have stayed up late the night before finishing it with them.
  2. Some children give in to the fight and do their work at primary school, but problems manifest later in life because they have not developed the self-motivation, self-discipline, responsibility or independence that high studies and work demand. In the end, the reason they were completing their homework was solely to appease their parents.

So how do motivate your child to do their homework without the nightly battle or problems mentioned above?

Limit the amount of nagging, negotiating and demanding (which let’s face it, is tiring for both child AND parent), and instead look for ways to:

  • facilitate their work;
  • praise their efforts when they work hard;
  • and allow them to face the consequences if they don’t.

Do good parents really allow their children to fail?

Allowing your child to fail may seem unkind and hard to do as a loving parent, but a bad grade or detention can become a significant positive turning point in their educational career and life in general.

Their failures, however uncomfortable, are a great learning opportunity, allowing them to reflect on what they did or didn’t do with you, and making them more aware of the consequences of their actions.

Renowned child behavioural therapist, James Lehman, suggests exploring three questions with your child when they fail at school:

  1. What part did they play in this?
  2. What are they going to do differently next time?
  3. What did they learn from this?

So can you help your child become the independently motivated, keen learner you want them to be? Yes, and let’s now look at what you can do as a parent.

(On a side note, if your child does fail, perhaps explore with your child the possibility of employing a ‘Seeds of Knowledge’ teacher to tutor them, and help them get command of their studies in fun, custom-designed, one-on-one sessions.)

Create a Plan Together with Your Child

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” – Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America.

Create a written routine together

It doesn’t matter whether you are an adult of a child, we all know creating a structured daily routine gets things done and creates habits. Sitting down with your child and planning it together will give your child the autonomy they desire, and put you firmly as the facilitator of “their plan”.

Here’s an example routine:

  1. Come home and put their bag away.
  2. Set out school books and stationery ready for study time.
  3. Have afternoon tea.
  4. Playtime with a five-minute “time check” when it is almost time to do study time. Playtime is important for children to give their minds a break in between school and homework.
  5. Homework until dinner time. (This will be done at the same location every night. See + QuickTip: Finding the perfect homework location below.)
  6. Dinner.
  7. Bedtime.

+ Quick Tip: Kids don’t get “homework”

When you ask your child if they have “homework” to do, they may just tell you that they weren’t given any, or be able to complete their homework in lightening flash time.

However, if you changed the wording to “study time”, and so regardless of whether they had homework or not, they had to do study for that period of time, you might find they do have work to fill that time up.

You could even call it “brain muscle exercises” to emphasise how this time is designed to help them become smarter and improve themselves, rather than emphasising the “work” aspect.

+ Quick Tip: Finding the perfect homework location

Finding or creating the perfect place for your child to do their homework often makes a big difference. Here are some pointers:

  • Identify a comfortable spot, with good lighting
  • Ensure your child has access to everything they need (e.g. books ready, pencils, scissors, glue, etc.)
  • Ensure there are not noisy, fun activities like television on at the same time that will distract children from their homework
  • Keep an eye on computer activity, and only allow them access if their homework requires it.

Many children get distracted by computers or use the Internet to look up answers.

+ Quick Tip: Strategies to get homework done in time

Sometimes children may find it difficult to complete their homework in their allotted “study time”. There are however some simple strategies you can teach your child that will help them with this, and bode well for their future studies and employment.

They are:

  • Encourage them to take on the harder homework first. That means that when fatigue sets in later they will have enough “brainpower” to take on the easier homework.
  • Work in blocks of time. Younger children may work 20 minutes before they need a 5-minute break, whereas older children can focus for 55 minutes before then having a 5-minute break. This strategy will optimise their focus and cognitive power.
  • Show them how to chunk homework, by grouping similar activities together and focusing on them, before then moving to another group of similar activities. Explain this will save them time and can be especially useful if they have difficult work to complete.

Create written expectations together

Creating written goals and expectations with your child should also be part of the above plan, that way you both know what you are aiming to achieve and the child is reminded of why they are doing the homework.

It also allows you to track their progress, and together you can modify the plan together if the goals are not being met.

What about when they “stuff up”?

As adults, we all “stuff up” sometimes, and children are no different. It can be tempting to lecture our children when they do make these mistakes, but as touched upon earlier, coming from a problem-solving perspective can be much more powerful.

That said, as part of the expectations set out in the plan, there should also be consequences set out. This could be not allowing your child to use the computer that night, or whatever is appropriate for your child.

+ Quick Tip: No external rewards

Many educational scholars are now recommending you do not reward work with external rewards as it trains children to seek these rewards rather than be motivated by their educational results, which can prove detrimental to their long term growth.

Instead, catch them red-handed doing something right, and then praise their efforts. This will create a sense of pride in their efforts and encourage them to continue in a transformational way.

You can also employ emotional rewards by saying things like: “doesn’t it feel good now that your homework is done and you can now go play?” This too will connect effort with accomplishment and internal rewards.

You can even write intrinsic goals into your plan, for example, “every night when I finish my homework I can play with my dinosaur toys”, or “when I finish my homework on the weekend I can go swim in the pool or play in the park.”

Your Role as a Parent

“Parents aren’t the people you come from. They’re the people you want to be, when you grow up.” – Jodi Picoult, Best-Selling Author.

Resist the urge to help too much

It is tempting to help our kids when they appear to be struggling with their homework, especially if we really want them to get that best possible grade, but we have to take a step back and remember the two goals of homework: to promote self-reliance and to practice what was done in the classroom.

In fact, many children knowingly or unknowingly become reliant on their parents, and do not get the full value from the work set for them, and therefore will not achieve as high marks come testing time.

As you will see with the Seeds of Knowledge teachers, the best way to help your child excel is to guide them toward the answer but ensure they come up with the answer.

If your child says they cannot answer a particular question, here are some guidelines for guiding them to discover the answer for themselves:

  1. Ask them to pretend they can find the answer and have a go at doing the question again;
  2. Ask them if they can answer part of the question, or recognise any parts that could help them solve the question;
  3. If they still cannot answer the question, create a new question with the same process, show them how to solve that question, and then encourage them to try to do it themselves with the question they were given.

This line of questioning fosters their independent thinking and helps them learn much more powerfully than showing them how to solve the question they were given. Remember also, the process to solve the questions set for homework should have been covered in class. Homework is a revision of the lessons taught in the classroom.

Now to let you in on…

The behind-the-scenes secrets…

you or your ‘Seeds of Knowledge’ tutor can do to propel your child forward.

Be a motivator and monitor

  • Ask about assignments, quizzes, and tests
  • Give fun spot quizzes on topics your child is studying
  • Check homework once completed ensuring they are on the right track
  • Make yourself or your tutor available for questions and concerns when possible

Be the example

Studies are showing that children pick up much more from their parents than we often think. It isn’t perhaps an exact science, but setting as good an example as we can in work and our responsibilities has a far greater impact than what we say to them verbally.

Talk to the teacher

One of the points of difference for ‘Seeds of Knowledge’ compared to most, if not all, other tutoring companies, is we keep in contact with each child’s teacher. By doing this you can understand what the teacher’s expectations are, whether there are specific homework responsibilities, and know the specific areas of the curriculum they are studying in class.

Make homework fun

This may not be possible, but if you can make homework a little fun and engaging the children will respond to that effort. At ‘Seeds of Knowledge’ we develop games and fun scenarios that teach children the concepts while making the process a little less dry.

For example, if your child were learning about subtraction, you could tell them that five unicorns entered the dark forest, and three got lost, how many unicorns returned home?

Or if they are learning about history, you could ask them to draw a picture that encompasses the details and facts they have just read about.

These examples are both fun and reinforce the learning.

Unlock your child’s super-learning ability!

It is common knowledge amongst teachers that all children learn better in three very different ways. Some children grasp concepts and information better that is visually represented to them. Others learn better by hearing concepts and information explained to them or talked through with them. And yet others learn better by having concepts demonstrated to them.

In the classroom, we attempt to cater for all three different learning styles, because we know that for example, a student who learns visually or through demonstration will greatly struggle if we just spoke to the class, yet an auditory learner will get lost with diagrams or using props to explain points. So we use a combination of teaching techniques.

Now none of us are completely one type of learner, but knowing which style best helps your child learn will fast-track their improvement and cut hours of frustration as they adopt the wrong learning style.

At Seeds of Knowledge, we understand this principle and so when you book your child in for an assessment to identify the areas they need to work on, we also use leading-edge computer software to uncover their learning style at the same time. This helps our tutors speed the improvement of your child, but also means if your child needs help understanding their homework, you will know the best way to help them. Your child’s tutor will give you tips on how to do this.

Conclusion

Congratulations for finishing this article and getting serious about your child’s development. This time in their lives is integral for building the foundation that will help them achieve their full potential in their education, career and life.

I hope this information has excited you with what is possible for your child, no matter where they are in the educational journey, and you now feel armed with an artillery of ideas to help them get the most out of their homework.

Remember though, habits take time to create and your child might be a little resistant to the changes in the beginning. The important thing to do is to put the structure into place as soon as possible and stick to it, no matter how much they protest in the short term.

You will no doubt begin seeing changes in the way your child responds to this different structure within weeks of implementing it, and you’ll also feel the relief of taking back your nights.

Then, over a relatively short period, the habits of routine will begin to cement, and as the results follow in the coming semesters your child’s attitude and belief in themselves will be reinforced, giving them the foundation to build a successful future.

When you combine this home structure with the study-backed Seeds of Knowledge TutoringSystem and our highly-trained fully-qualified teachers, your child will be equipped with the support they need to achieve their highest potential.

If you would like more information regarding having a Seeds of Knowledge teacher come tutor your child, please contact us today.

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